3
“Isn’t it fabulous? I mean, just look around. It’s...it’s breathtaking!”
Didn’t it figure? I was three-hundred-and-some miles from home and still, I’d managed to hook up with an Ella clone. The middle-aged, middle-sized woman had introduced herself earlier as Doris from Detroit. Now, I watched as she twirled like a ballerina in her sensible, low-heeled boots so she could take a good look all around the frozen landscape where we stood. “It’s the most beautiful cemetery I’ve ever seen,” she said, her words choked with emotion and her breath forming a cloud as it escaped from behind the red scarf she had wound all the way up to her chin. “Aren’t you feeling like the luckiest girl alive to be here in Ella’s place, Penelope?”
I glanced down at the conference name badge that hung around my neck and groaned, vowing that I would make the necessary adjustments to it as soon as I got ahold of a thick black Sharpie.
If I didn’t freeze to death first.
Unlike the groups of people who had just gotten off the tour bus with us and whose conversations I could hear, I had little (more like nothing) to say about the concept of Victorian cemeteries, nineteenth-century funerary traditions, or the benefits of granite over marble for the building of monuments. All I could manage through my chattering teeth was, “It reminds me a lot of Garden View.”
“Aren’t you the fortunate one, to be working in a cemetery like that!” A man named Grant stepped close and muscled in on the small talk. Or maybe he was just trying to keep warm. “I’ll tell you what . . .” He was either distracted by my name badge or my chest. Either way, when he finally looked up and into my eyes, his cheeks were pink. So were the tips of his ears where they showed below his stocking cap. “I’ll tell you what, Penelope, back in Peoria, we’re plenty jealous of that cemetery where you work. It’s that famous.”
I didn’t so much smile in response to this announcement as I did grit my teeth. When my face froze in the expression, Grant took it as a good sign. He stepped closer. I stood my ground. Although it was only the first stop on our tour of Graceland Cemetery in the heart of Chicago, I was quickly learning that, leopard-print lining aside, my Dolce & Gabbana tall patent boots didn’t provide much in the way of warmth. There was no use trying to move when I couldn’t feel my feet.
“We’ll have a lot to talk about at the conference dinner tonight.” Grant winked. Or maybe the twitch was simply a reaction to the icy wind that howled through the cemetery. “Just imagine how exciting the week is going to be. Discussing cemetery business and nothing else! Like dying and going to heaven, huh?” Funny guy that he was, Grant emphasized this by poking an elbow into my ribs.
“And Penelope’s even giving a talk.” Although this tour was the first item on the week’s agenda, Doris, it seemed, had already been through the conference program with a fine-tooth comb. “Reactions to the Resurrectionists in the Planning and Design of the Urban Cemetery. Isn’t that right, Penelope?”
“It’s Ella’s talk. I’m just going to read it.” I thought it wise to make this distinction before anyone actually thought I knew who—or what—these Resurrectionists were or why they cared how cemeteries were designed. “She couldn’t be here. She’s—”
“Sick. Yes, I know. I talked to her before I left home.” Doris patted my arm. Her mittens were pink and thick and wooly. They looked warmer—but not nearly as pretty—as the black cashmere gloves that matched my black three-quarter-length wool jacket. “Ella and I are old friends. We see each other at conferences like this every year. I’m sorry she’s not going to be here. We’ve had some good times, I’ll tell you that.” Doris chuckled. “Someday, you have to ask her about the time we got locked in the cemetery in Sheboygan. That story will make you howl!”
Fortunately, before I had any hope of responding, our tour guide called us to order. Her name was Stephanie and she was young, squat, and perky. She obviously loved her job. I had no doubt that someday, she would grow up to be just like Ella and Doris. “I promised a little history, so here goes,” she said. “Graceland, as many of you probably already know, was established in 1860. It was originally outside the Chicago city limits in a town called Lake View. The old city cemetery was in what’s now Lincoln Park. Bodies were removed from there when it was determined that cemetery was a health hazard because of overcrowding and waterborne diseases.”
Doris leaned closer. “Such fascinating stuff!”
More politically correct than the “Ew!” I whispered.
“Those bodies were brought here and reburied, and eventually, the city swallowed Lake View and Graceland, too,” Stephanie went on. “The cemetery now covers one hundred and nineteen acres and includes many famous monuments. We’re going to see a lot of them this afternoon, but I thought we should start here, with the largest and one of the most famous—the burial site of Potter and Bertha Palmer.” She waved a hand over her shoulder, directing our attention to what looked like a Greek temple.
I’d never been to Greece, and believe me, I don’t remember much of what I learned as an art history major back at college. I’d never been to Chicago before, either, and even if I had, I sure wouldn’t have hung around this place. There was no explanation for why I took one gander at the Palmer memorial and was smack in the middle of a déjà-vu experience.
The pillars that surrounded the open-sided platform . . .
The two huge sarcophagus (sarcophagi?) inside...
Even the way the anemic afternoon sunshine filtered through a layer of leaden clouds and outlined the bony branches of trees...
I could have sworn I’d seen it all before.
Or maybe my brain was playing tricks on me, shutting down right before I froze up like a margarita.
The shiver that snaked over my shoulders had less to do with the cold than it did with me coming to my senses. Just because I was flash-frozen didn’t mean I had to look it, I reminded myself. Before the cold could wreak any more havoc and chap my lips, I opened my purse and felt around inside for my lip gloss.
What I pulled out instead was a postcard. One I’d forgotten I had.
My mind blinked back to the night the autumn before when I left my former fiancé’s most recent engagement party and found the postcard on the street. Sure, I glanced at it then, but I had better things to think about, and the postcard wasn’t important; I could have sworn I’d tossed it. Not so. It looked as if I’d transferred it out of my Jimmy Choo evening bag (a sweet little satin clutch with a short leather shoulder strap) to my everyday purse along with my lipstick and my mascara and such. Apparently, it had been hiding at the bottom of my purse ever since.
Now, I looked at the picture on the postcard, then over at the imposing Palmer monument.
Oh yeah, they were one and the same.
That’s when I remembered the single word scrawled across the back of the card, “Help.”
I may have groaned. I don’t remember. I do know that a couple people turned away from Stephanie to glare at me for interrupting. I also remember that before I stuffed the postcard in my pocket, I looked over at the Palmer memorial one more time, and that when I did, I saw something I hadn’t seen before. Or I should say, someone.
There was a woman standing just beyond the memorial, looking down at one of the gravestones near her feet. She wasn’t wearing a coat.
I’ve been known to be slow on the uptake about any number of things (as I have proved with my engagement to Joel and perhaps even by taking so long to realize my night with Quinn was one of those maybe-it-never-should-have-happened events), but when it comes to my Gift, believe me, I was starting to get the message loud and clear: the woman at the grave was a ghost.
I groaned again. And grumbled, too. I actually thought about getting back on the tour bus where it was nice and warm and telling the driver I was sick and needed to return to the hotel, pronto.
I didn’t. And here’s why:
1. By this time in my career as investigator for the dead, I knew I couldn’t just walk away. Believe me, I’d tried this before and it never worked. If I left now, I’d only find myself back here again. I wasn’t going to take the chance that next time, it might actually be colder.
2. I’d already investigated three cases for those who rested but not in peace, and I knew the score. If I ignored them, they would bug me.
3. Ghosts mean trouble. Always. But even dealing with a ghost is better than facing the inevitability of a boring conference, and this conference had all the makings of being as dull as watching paint dry. I didn’t want to be threatened, shot at, beat up, or followed by menacing hit-man types (all of which happens when I’m on a case), but at least being threatened and shot at and blah, blah, blah keeps me awake and interested. Reactions to the Resurrectionists in the Planning and Design of the Urban Cemetery definitely does not.
4. Well . . . this one is the hardest to explain. It had to do with Damon Curtis, my most recent client, who, in addition to teaching me that love between the dead and the living is not the most feasible of arrangements, had made me realize that life was to be lived. Even among the dead. Sure, it sounded like some weird version of a Hallmark card, but what Damon said was true, and I had finally come to accept it: I had to take every opportunity and pursue every adventure (hence the encounter with Quinn). I had to grab the proverbial bull by the horns, and in my case, that meant accepting my Gift and making the most of it.
 
Did I like the conclusion I came to? Not one bit. But like it or not, the ability to talk to the dead was as much a part of me as my red hair and my unerring fashion sense. I had a skill no one else had. The flip side, of course, was the responsibility that came along with it.
Before I could convince myself otherwise, I slipped away from Doris and the rest of the cemeteries-are-great crowd, skirted the back of the group, arced around, and make a wide swing behind the Palmer memorial. I was nearly to the other side of it and closing in on my newest close encounter of the woo-woo kind when I hit a pocket of air so cold, it made the frosty Chicago weather feel like a summer day.
I stopped, frozen by the chill and strangely ill at ease. Fear prickled up my spine. It settled on my shoulders. I’d faced bad guys who were out to kill me, and rock-and-rollers with mayhem in their hearts. I’d once nearly gotten myself thrown off a very high bridge. And I’m not going to lie: every one of those times, I was scared shit-less.
But not like this.
This was the kind of fear that lives in nightmares. It was gnawing and inescapable and even if I turned my back on it and ran for the tour bus, I knew it would follow me. I had no choice but to wait it out, and for what seemed like a long time, I stood stock-still and listened to the silence press against my ears while my heart slammed against my ribs. A creepy sensation crawled along my skin, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. If it wasn’t frozen solid, the hair on the back of my neck would have stood on end.
Too afraid to look and too afraid not to, I swallowed around the lump in my throat and dared a glance over my shoulder. I was just in time to see something slink behind a tree twenty feet away.
Man or woman, human or animal, I couldn’t say. I did know it was big and black and it wasn’t solid. It looked hazy, like a shadow, and like a shadow, it was gone in an instant.
Once it was gone, the air warmed to just below freezing, and before it could get colder again—and before that shadow could come back and totally freak me out—I hurried over to where the woman waited.
Maybe she didn’t see the shadow. Or maybe, being ectoplasm and all, she simply didn’t get frightened. She never flinched. She didn’t say a word, either. All she did was watch me as I got nearer.
I saw right away that with a little fashion advice, a complete makeover from the cosmetics counter at Saks, and a visit to a reputable aesthetician for some serious moisturizing, she actually might be pretty. She had fine porcelain skin, pale hair, and eyes that were blue and misty. The effect, sadly, was lost thanks to the fact that her hair was pulled back severely from her face. The shapeless black skirt did nothing for her slim figure and the white button-down shirt didn’t help. Neither did the white lab coat that hung from her shoulders. The chunky black loafers were so eighties. And the Coke-bottle glasses . . . well, maybe not everyone can afford Lasik, but, really, is there any excuse for pretending to be back in the Dark Ages before contacts were invented?
She looked me up and down, studying me as closely as I was watching her. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t imagining it when her top lip curled.
“You’re not what I expected,” she said.
Not the best way to begin a conversation. Especially when I was already cold and bored. It was no wonder I snapped back. “What, you don’t have some kind of ghostly Internet over on the Other Side? You weren’t told to look for the best-dressed woman in the cemetery?”
She didn’t smile. “I thought you would be older and . . . you know . . .”
“Not as pretty?”
A serious plucking would have done her eyebrows a world of good. They did a slow slide up her forehead. “I didn’t want to be rude, but since you insist. I was going to say that I thought you’d look smarter.”
“I’m plenty smart.”
“Sure you are.”
She said this in the same tone of voice I’d once heard a clerk at Nordstrom use when a woman who shouldn’t have been caught dead in a tankini sauntered out of the dressing room and asked how she looked.
Unlike that shopper, I was good at picking up on subtleties. I stepped back, shifting my weight to one foot. “You’re the one who wanted to see me. At least I’m guessing you had something to do with the postcard and—hey!” An idea struck, and though I don’t like exposing my ignorance or my weaknesses—not to anybody—I’d never been good at hiding my curiosity. I pulled the postcard out of my pocket and waved it in the air. “How’d you do that, anyway? Ghosts can’t touch things. How did you write on this postcard? And how did you get it to me?”
“Ghosts can’t touch things, is that what you think?” A smile touched her lips. Since she was already as cold as anybody can get, I doubt if she did it for warmth, but she tucked her hands into the pockets of her lab coat. “Looks like you don’t know everything after all.”
Like I said, I don’t like admitting I’m not at the top of my game. Naturally, I prickled, and honestly, it wasn’t such a bad thing. A little healthy anger went a long way toward warming me up. “I do know there’s a reason you brought me here. And I’m pretty sure . . .” I pretended to think about this before I said, “No, I’m very sure I’m the only one who can see you and the only one who can help you. I suggest you cut the sarcasm.”
“Oh, you are a feisty one! I hear that goes along with the red hair.” She leaned nearer to give me a closer look. “If it’s natural.”
My smile was as brittle as the chill wind. “It’s natural, all right. So’s the curl. Which means I don’t have to handle bad hair days by pulling my hair away from my face and tying it up in an old-lady bun.”
“How clever of you to notice.”
Two minutes with this spook and already she was getting on my nerves. I didn’t walk away, though, not even when I saw out of the corner of my eye that the cemetery conference group had already moved on to another nearby monument. Remember what I said earlier. I knew that even if I left, this ghostly pain in the ass would find me again. I might as well get it over with. Though it was unlike me, I decided it was time to find some common middle ground. If I was going to get anywhere, a change of subject was in order.
I glanced toward where I’d last seen the hulking shadow and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it was nowhere in sight. “What’s with the spooky shadow?” I asked the woman.
Her shrug was barely noticeable. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“All rightee.” Like I said, I was all about being nonconfrontational. And smart enough to know arguing with this ghost would get me nowhere. I stepped closer and looked down at the gravestone nearest to where she stood. “Madeline Tremayne. Is that you?”
She didn’t look at the gravestone but kept her head up. Her jaw was rigid. “It used to be.”
I checked the dates carved into the rose granite. “You’ve only been dead for three years. And you didn’t live all that long. Thirty? You don’t look—”
“That old?” Her eyes flared.
“I was going to say that young. It’s the lab coat. Sorry, but you must have realized the lab coat and the glasses and the shoes . . .” I couldn’t make myself look at her black loafers again. “If you had any sense of style—”
“Women with brains don’t need a sense of style. And women who are psychologically healthy aren’t fixated on looks and fashion.”
“Fixated? Think so?” I glared at her. “Well, come to think of it, you must believe it. And you must have some pretty heavy psychological issues, too. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be trying to prove how psychologically healthy you are by going out of your way to look so frumpy.”
Madeline simply stared at me, her chin steady and her lips pulled into a thin line. Easy for her to do; she wasn’t wearing any lipstick so she didn’t have to worry about smudging it or biting it off. “It’s far too early for a diagnosis, of course,” she said, “but if push came to shove and I had to guess, I’d go with NPD. In case you don’t know, and I’m certain you don’t since I think it’s clear you’ve never read the research of Heinz Kohut or the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, that’s narcissistic personality disorder. It’s as clear as clear can be. You’re preoccupied with your own physical and social image. You’re wrapped up in your own thoughts and feelings without any concern for others at all. With your defensive attitude and your overblown sense of self-importance . . .Yes, I think we’re looking at a classic case here. I do hope you’re seeing a therapist, if not for yourself then out of consideration for all the people around you.”
She wasn’t funny and I wasn’t laughing. “I don’t need a therapist,” I told her, even though I shouldn’t have had to. “What I do need is to be left alone. What you need is to remember that if you’re going to ask a living person for help, you need to show a little respect in return.”
“Yes, yes, of course.” I might have taken this as a form of apology if she wasn’t nodding and mumbling and talking to herself. And if she didn’t continue with her half-baked diagnosis. “Concern for your own affairs to the exclusion of all others, the inability to empathize with others who have clearly—being dead—gone through far more than you, interpersonal inflexibility, an insistence that you’re the only one who’s right and to take things far too personally . . .” Her mind apparently made up, she looked at me again. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of it, you know. It’s like any mental illness, and fortunately for you, I’m able to understand the root cause. You feel rejected. Humiliated. Threatened when you’re criticized.”
“And out of patience when I have to deal with stupid people, dead or alive.” To prove it, I turned around and stalked away. “Sorry, lady, but you’ve offended the wrong Gifted person. Oh, wait!” I whirled back around; I didn’t want to miss her expression when I delivered my parting shot. “I’m the only one with the Gift, aren’t I? I guess that would sound narcissistic. Except that it’s true. Just like it’s true that I can choose to help whichever ghosts I want. News flash, the ones that piss me off don’t get the time of day. Whatever you wanted my help with, you can just forget it.”
“Fine.” She folded her arms over her chest. “Go back to your cemetery conference and forget this ever happened. It doesn’t make one bit of difference to me. After all, I wasn’t going to ask for your help for myself. And if you don’t want to help Dan—”
“Dan? Dan Callahan?” Without hesitating, I turned right back around and marched over to where Madeline waited. “You know Dan Callahan?”
Her slow smile was the only answer I needed, and I cursed myself and this Gift of mine, which had a way of getting me in over my head every time.
While I was at it, I cursed Madeline, too. She had me at the first mention of Dan’s name. And damn it, she knew it, too.

Night of the Loving Dead
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